Happy Thanksgiving!
Yes, I know Anthony has cancer. Pancreatic cancer. But, we still have so much to be thankful for. His cancer does not automatically cancel out all the blessings in our life.
A couple days ago, I ran into someone Anthony and I have known for years. He had not yet heard that Anthony was sick, and was shocked and saddened by the news. That, I understand. I gave him a hug...an offer of comfort after delivering the news. We talked for a few minutes, and before we parted, I wished him and his family a Happy Thanksgiving. He asked that I give Anthony his regards and then wished me a Happy Thanksgiving. He was quick, however, to tack on a caveat. He said, “Well, I guess as happy a Thanksgiving you can have...under the circumstances.” Without even thinking, I smiled and said, “Thanks. We’re going to have a wonderful Thanksgiving!”
Now, something about that conversation has been bothering me, and a question keeps playing over and over in my head: Under what circumstances? Was this friend infering that, because Anthony has cancer, our Thanksgiving should be any less thankful, or festive, or happy?
Part of me understands why someone might think our holiday would be bittersweet. And, honestly, I could see myself going there...maybe even feeling a little less than thankful this year...if I focused upon Anthony being sick. When someone you love is struck with a devastating illness, like pancreatic cancer, it’s easy to allow it to become the center of your life. Anthony and I schedule all of our daily activities around his treatment times and doctor visits. With pancreatic cancer, you have to plan ahead for just about everything, and because the gastrointestinal symptoms can be so severe, it’s difficult to leave the house for any extended period of time. Your world seems to get smaller and smaller. You can begin to feel very isolated and alone. A friend of mine put it this way...It’s like you are operating in a different time zone from everyone else. It isn’t always possible for other people to find their way into our time zone so we try to stay connected as much as we can by doing as many familiar things as possible.
So, here it is...Thanksgiving Day. We usually spend the holiday at home, cooking and smelling all the wonderful aromas of the Autumn feast; but, this year we're changing it up a little. Even though I really enjoy cooking for Thanksgiving, I am very thankful that we are going to Anthony’s sister’s house for the traditional feast. I’m glad Anthony will be getting out of the house for something other than a medical appointment or radiation treatment. Sure, he may have to retreat to a bedroom and rest for a good part of the time, but at least he’ll have a change of scenery.
I’m thankful we’ll be spending the day with family and our dear friend. I’m looking forward to talking and laughing and celebrating the good and beautiful things in our life. Anthony and I could be going through all this alone, but we are not...Thank God we are not! We are so blessed to be surrounded by an army of loving and supportive people who have helped us in every way possible. We have blessings in our lives that we didn’t even know we had! How could we begin to think that Anthony’s cancer is big enough to cancel out all that good? When I stack up our blessings next to the cancer, I can see things in their proper perspectives. The cancer looks very small in comparison!
I hope and pray that all of you will have a happy Thanksgiving Day. Try to keep your problems, your sorrows, and your worries in their proper perspectives. Don’t let the world’s imperfections overshadow all the blessings in your life. I know it’s hard sometimes. As for Anthony and I?... Well, we are going to focus on the here and now. Today, we are together and we get to spend the whole day with each other and with people we love. And you can be assured of this: When we join our hands and hearts to give thanks today, all of you will be remembered in our prayer.
Yes, Thanksgiving Day 2011 will be a happy day, indeed.
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