Love Hurts

This may sound a little weird, but ever since Sunday afternoon, three things keep making their way into my conscious thoughts...  the message of Sunday’s Gospel reading, various scenes from the movie Moonstruck, and the way Anthony and I love each other.  I’m not surprised if my musings appear random or disjointed to you; but, believe it or not, I did find the common thread weaving my tapestry of thoughts together. And I can’t stop thinking about it...LOVE. 

In Sunday’s Gospel, from Matthew 22, we heard Jesus talk about the greatest commandment. The bulk of the homily was a reflection upon these verses:

"You shall love the Lord, your God,

with all your heart,

with all your soul,

and with all your mind.

This is the greatest and the first commandment.

The second is like it:

You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

                                                              MATTHEW 22: 37-39

A few things Father said during his homily really struck me, and I’ve continued to ponder them. Allow me to share....First, he said that love is the source of our greatest joys in life, as well as the source of our deepest sorrows. Second, when we open ourselves to love, we become vulnerable. Jesus, hanging on the cross with arms stretched wide, is the perfect example of complete vulnerability. His outstretched arms were wide open to not only give and receive love, but to also receive the angry blows and the painful rejection of those who beat and crucified Him. Lastly, in order for us to love in the true Christ Spirit, we must also be willing to sacrifice ourselves as Jesus did. When we let go of our selfishness, we open ourselves to others in the Spirit of sacrificial love. 

They say laughter is good for the soul, so Anthony and I try to indulge ourselves frequently. We enjoy watching comedies, and one of our favorites is Moonstruck (1987). Remember that classic scene where Loretta (played by Cher) slaps Ronny (Nicholas Cage) across the face and yells, “Snap out of it!” when he says he loves her? Then, there's the scene where Ronnie tells Loretta, “But love don't make things nice, it ruins everything, it breaks your heart, it makes things a mess.” And, one of my favorites is an exchange between Loretta and her mom (Olympia Dukakis): “Do you love him, Loretta?” “Yeah, Ma, I love him awful.”  “Oh God, that's too bad.”  So, what does Moonstruck have to do with the Gospel of Matthew? Honestly, not a whole lot...But, I do think something about love is revealed, if you look hard enough. You see, beneath the humor, lies the truth...Love is inherently risky. Love requires vulnerability and that leaves us open to be hurt. The characters in this film know the flip side of love is pain, yet they are willing to go to the depths, to risk it all...all for love. 

Anthony and I love each other very deeply...and our love takes us to the depths. We have the kind of love that isn’t always easy. It’s a love that requires comittment, risk taking, and sacrifice. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t always feel happy and warm and fuzzy...It’s a love that breaks our hearts. When Anthony was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, my heart broke in a million pieces. It breaks over and over again when I see him sick or in pain. His heart breaks when he looks into my eyes and sees the worry I try to hide behind my smile. But, we wouldn’t have it any other way. We will continue to risk it all by opening our hearts to each other, the way Jesus opened Himself to us...completely vulnerable. It’s the only way to know the fullness and the beauty and the immense joy of love. Even though it hurts sometimes.