The Waiting Room

Yesterday was the first time Anthony and I had ever been in an oncologist’s office. The office is really more like a clinic, as it takes up the entire floor of the medical building where it is located. Before we opened the double glass doors to enter, I could smell a very clean, fresh smelling scent...not antiseptic at all, but not “perfumey” either. More like the scent of a clean load of laundry tumbling in the dryer with a fabric softener sheet. I found it oddly comforting, especially given the circumstances and what we were about to walk into.  

Once inside the waiting room, I settled into a chair and waited for Anthony to sign in and pay his co-payment. Over the past six weeks or so, I’ve been in a lot of waiting rooms, and they are all pretty standard...Basic, non-descript chairs, dim lighting, expired magazines with unfamiliar titles. Most don’t have any windows and, if they do, they are usually small and covered. This waiting room was different though. There was a very large, wrap-around window allowing a good amount of natural lighting to fill the space. Since the office is on the 4^th floor of the building, the patients in the waiting room are given an expansive view of Redondo Beach. There were quite a few empty seats in the main area of the room, but those situated along the L-shaped, undraped window were all occupied...Cancer patients trying to see far off into the distance.....hoping to see something in their futures?    

I found myself looking at the other patients in the waiting room and wondering why they were there..... Like the young woman with the chic blond wig on her head, and a handful of family members occuping the chairs around her....brain tumor? How about the frail looking, emaciated man sitting in the far corner, with the deep, rattling cough that sounded like it belonged to someone robust and twice his size.....maybe lung cancer? And the middle aged woman....the tall, pretty one whose well-practiced smile just couldn’t hold up nearly as well as her perfect posture and runway stride....breast cancer? Then, I looked at Anthony. Did he look like he had pancreatic cancer? 

I don’t know how I scored on my cancer diagnosis guessing game. The truth is, I don’t know what kind of cancer anyone else in that waiting room is battling. The only thing  I know, for sure, is this....The cancer patients in that waiting room were there because they want to live. They are warriors, standing up tall and fighting their disease. They are holding on to life and hoping for a cure..... And, I would bet they, like we, are praying for a miracle.