Tuesday, May 1, was Anthony’s birthday. He would have been 63 years old. I tried to keep myself as busy as possible, but it was difficult, and I shed my fair share of tears throughout the day.
Anthony’s sister planned a beautiful family dinner to honor him. I brought a bottle of one of Anthony’s favorite wines to share, and I made a rich chocolate cake for dessert...also one of Ant’s favorites. We celebrated Anthony...we even sang Happy Birthday and lit candles on the cake. We spent a wonderful evening together, but I missed Anthony terribly. I don’t think I was alone in missing him...I’m pretty sure everyone did.
After dinner, the kids and I came home, and I really felt the sting of Anthony’s absence when we walked into the house. Earlier in the day, I had started writing the poem, Your Birthday in Heaven (below), so I tried to fill the void by finishing it. I couldn’t. I tried writing anything...I just couldn’t. The strange thing was that I had so much on my mind...so many thoughts and feelings...but I couldn’t organize them enough to form a single sentence. So, I cried. I cried until I was too tired to cry anymore. Then, I cuddled up next to my daughter, Cecilia (who was sweet enough to come up from San Diego to be with me...especially for Anthony’s birthday), and I thought about all the different things we’ve done, in the past, to celebrate this very special day. For the first time since Anthony has passed away, I actually fell asleep smiling.
I’ve always tried to come up with something extra special for Anthony’s birthday...a gift that let him know I put lots of thought into it because I thought so much about him! So, here is my birthday gift (a poem) for my husband on his 63rd birthday...
Your Birthday in Heaven
What’s it like celebrating your birthday in Heaven?
Do you wake up to the sound
of celestial angels all around...
singing and playing on harps of gold?
When you live in Eternity, do you ever grow old,
or does time never cease to unfold
in streams of infinite ribbons...
impossible to hold?
What’s it like celebrating your birthday in Heaven?
Do you dance throughout the day
with wild abandon, child-like play...
running and skipping on clouds of white?
When you live in Eternity, is there darkness or night,
or is time filled only with light
spoken into existence...
that which was born in God’s sight?
What’s it like celebrating your birthday in Heaven?
Does love swell inside your heart
and then explode to touch each part
of you with His sanctifying Grace?
When you live in Eternity, do you see God’s face
everywhere...filling every space
with His omnipotent presence...
enveloping you in His embrace?
Tell me...
What’s it like celebrating your birthday in Heaven?
Beautiful Teri! I feel it could be a song as well. It's such a good healing process for you to share your thoughts like this. I should have done the same when I lost my dear mother. Thinknig of you.
ReplyDeleteFrank Unzueta
Just beautiful...grand thoughts of a time to come for all of us. Thank you for sharing these precious words...hugs
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